The Choice to Be Happy (Even When Your Back Disagrees)

They say that happiness is a choice. That’s easy to believe when everything is running smoothly and your body doesn't feel like you've been in a fight. Lately, neither has been the case.

The extra bending, lifting, and kneeling during our move to the new apartment stiffened my back, fired up the bursitis, and irritated my already-irritated meniscus. I felt like I was living the Jimmy Buffett song, “My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don’t Love Jesus.” The past few weeks have been one long parade of things that don’t work, extra aches and pains, and adjusting to a new environment.

Adventures in “New and Improved”

Take our new window coverings, for example. Their “new and improved” pull mechanism may indeed be new, but, in my opinion, not improved. The easy cord has been replaced with a four-foot flexible stick that first bangs on the floor, then bends like it’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. To operate it, you have to reach up and flip a tiny plastic switch that toggles between “up” and “down.” It’s placed exactly one inch higher than I can comfortably reach, which adds a thrilling element of danger.

The blinds were finally installed this week, but at 3:30 PM the installers discovered the large bedroom shade didn’t work. Naturally, they had no temporary replacement. “You can go to Home Depot for temporary shades,” they suggested. We weren’t about to roam the city in search of blinds, so hubby went online, found what we needed, and paid extra for same-day delivery.

They’re billed as “room-darkening,” but hubby said, “Just because we can’t see out doesn’t mean other people can’t see in. I’ll check.” After a brief trip outside, he came back and announced, “I wouldn’t undress in the bedroom unless you want to be arrested for indecent exposure.”

But the new window covering debacle didn’t end with the bedroom shades. The next morning, I went to get my cereal and discovered that the pantry door no longer opens fully. The top bar on the new shade is too long and blocks the pantry door.

But I’m trying to look at the positives, because otherwise I may take that bendy-stick blind wand and use it as a weapon.

Music Helps

Nothing lifts my spirits like music. Our Foundation hosted a Doo-Wop group Thursday night to a packed crowd—those harmonies were the soundtrack of my youth. Then, last night, a friend and I went to the First Presbyterian Church of Bonita Springs for “Gabe and Friends”—a night of Rat Pack classics, Patsy Cline, and Gershwin. We left smiling and humming.

Friends Help Even More

My friends are the best antidote to the blues. We had dinner with a different couple every night last week, and nothing chases away crummy feelings like laughing with people who get you. Commiseration is good medicine, too.

And Don’t Forget the Staff

The staff here is another mood booster. They’re kind, helpful, and generous with smiles. When you see the same people several times a week, you get to know them and care about their lives. One young man from Colombia is studying business and his family is opening a coffee shop. Another is studying cybersecurity. One will finish nursing school this year.

And one young man who left for a much higher-paying job as an auto technician still comes back on Saturdays just because he likes the friendly people here. That says it all.

Nicolas - always with a smile

Finding Joy in the Small Stuff

I’ve learned to delight in the small things. Today a butterfly danced in front of me on the way to the car. Every afternoon, we watch the ibis gang descend by the pond to dig for bugs like a feathered biker club. And even though Florida doesn’t exactly do seasons, some of the blooming trees almost look like fall foliage, if you squint and use your imagination.

The Move Wasn’t All Bad

And yes, the move had upsides. We went from a dirty oven to a spotless one. I haven’t seen that kind of sparkle since the last time I moved (am I that bad a housekeeper?).

The decorator rearranged our artwork, and suddenly the place feels fresh. Some pieces that used to hide in obscure corners now have starring roles. It’s like getting new art without spending a dime. And best of all? They uncovered my Matisse nude—the one that disappeared during the last move. I jumped and blurted out, “You found it! I thought it was lost for good!”

And Right Now… Life Is Good

Right now I’m sitting on the lanai. The brief run of 40-degree mornings is over, and I can sit outside again. (Okay, I do have a throw on my lap.) It’s peaceful—the Florida sun, the tropical plants, the sound of the fountains. And most of the time, Patsy the cat is here with me, stalking geckos.

And in this peaceful moment, I remember that happiness really is a choice—mostly the choice of where to look: at the glitches that multiply like rabbits, or at the everyday joys right under my nose… a dancing butterfly, the daily ibis parade, and of course, a cat who thinks she’s the main attraction.