How Do You Describe Yourself in a Senior Community? (When Everyone Looks Like You)

When I was going to meet someone new in our senior community, I started to describe myself, so she’d know who to look for.

“I’m average height, with gray hair, and I wear glasses.”

Then it hit me. That description fits about 90% of the women here. In my previous senior community, the average age was closer to 55–65, and most women still colored their hair. Here, the average age is…well, a bit higher, and at any gathering you’re greeted by a sea of gray. Like a meeting of the Red Hat Society without the hats.

created with ChatGPT 4/18/26

Being gray was new to me. I stopped coloring my hair during COVID when salons were closed.

When salons reopened, I considered rushing back to brunette. But by then, we’d moved into our continuing care community, and with everything shut down, no one there had ever met “brunette Sue.” So the timing was good to go grey.

Then I started reading those alarming articles about hair dye. You know the ones, everything causes cancer, heart disease, or baldness. Especially the things you’ve been doing for 30 years. They suggested maybe you should embrace the gray.” So I did.

Anyway, back to my identity crisis.

After a few failed attempts to describe myself, I realized we might be…a bit of a homogenized group. Mostly gray hair. Ages somewhere between “early 70s” and “I’m not telling.” Heights hovering around 5’4” to 5’6”.  Typical Florida uniform: tops, capris, sandals.

Oh dear. Am I stereotyping? Being ageist? Saying we all look alike? I hope not.

But it did make me rethink my strategy. If basic descriptors don’t work, what does?

So I asked AI. (Because if anyone understands people, it’s a machine.) It suggested combining physical traits with clothing: “I’m about 5'4", short gray hair, medium build, wearing white capris and a turquoise top.”

Helpful—except half the room is wearing white capris.

Maybe we need signature accessories. Madeleine Albright was famous for her pins (2). I could be “the one with the amethyst necklace.” One friend, a former microbiologist from Hawaii, makes fused glass fish pendants. Now that’s distinctive. But I'd have to take a fused glass class, and I don't know anything about fish.

Or I could go bold. I could channel Dame Edna: “I’m the one in rhinestone cat-eye glasses.” I could even dye my hair purple. Though knowing me, I’d pick a hair color shade that clashes with everything I own.

from Dame Edna's Facebook page

Clothing could work. “I’m the one in the rainbow scarf.” Except…this is Southwest Florida. Scarves aren’t exactly standard attire here—although given how cold I always am, maybe I should bring them back. I’m usually cold. I’m that person in a sweater when it’s 80 degrees, so honestly, a scarf might not be out of the question.

On the other hand, clothing might work. Since I'm always cold, I could describe myself as the one bundled up like an Eskimo. But even then, I'm not the only one who layers on an 80-degree day.

Which brings me to the Lakeside Grille in our community.

One night, I walked into the restaurant and was hit with a blast of arctic air. I was already wearing long sleeves, a jacket, long pants, and socks, but it wasn’t enough. I made a beeline for the coat closet and grabbed my favorite: a bright yellow sweater that has been hanging there for years.

I call it the Lakeside Grille Memorial Sweater.  The staff always chuckles when I announce, “I’m freezing—I’m getting the Memorial Sweater.”

Lakeside Grill Memorial Sweater

I wear it several times a month. I do wonder if they ever wash it. Perhaps I should volunteer.

But back to the issue at hand. How do I tell people who don't know me what I look like?

Then it dawned on me. I could act like a tour guide—carry a distinctive umbrella or one of those sticks with a little flag on top. But I always lose umbrellas. The stick has potential, but I’d probably lose that too. And then I’d be labeled the community eccentric—the woman with the mysterious flag stick.

created by ChatGPT 4/18/2026

On the other hand, some people already think I’m eccentric, so this might actually work.

But if you live in a senior community and need to describe yourself, take it from me. ”Medium height, gray hair, and glasses” isn’t going to narrow it down.

At that point, you don’t need a description. You need a system.

Or a flag.

Some of our favorite funny Video clips for your enjoyment

Bob Newhart Empire State Building Sketch

Hominoid trips at race starting line - hysterical - they even carry it off on a stretcher.

References

1.  Shinjita Das, MD, Do hair dyes increase cancer risk?, Harvard Health Publishing, January 20, 2021

2. Madeline Albright, Read My Pins, Harper, September 29, 2009

3. Why Do Old People Look the Same, Quora